> Then I start replying to you...but then I throw away the comment, because I'm inviting drive-by downvotes. I.e. the minefield describe up top, and if you look like you're being mean, you'll eat downvotes, especially on a weekend.

Don't self-censor for this reason -- "downvotes aren't real" in that they don't actually matter. Being afraid of getting downvoted is a silly way to live, and I also fall into the trap but try to avoid it.

If you're worries as coming off as mean, probably worth rephrasing!